viernes, 20 de marzo de 2009

Mientras crujen los huesos II


(Advertencia: hay una foto de mi tobillo no apta para público sensible)


Suena mi celular. Es Gabriel.

- ‘Chacho, que te pasó, diablo. ¿Y dónde tú estás?
- En el hospital, en emergencia, me jodí el tobillo jugando básquetbol. Vente compadre que no tengo quién me lleve de regreso a la casa.
- Ay Dio’. ¿Y eso? Voy pa’ ‘llá, Leonaldo. Pero muchacho…
- Ok, vente a emergencia del Robert Wood Johnson, ahora mismo un doctor con pinta de skater y otra doctora con más músculos que yo me van a enderezar el pie.
- Espérame Leonaldo llego en un chin.
- No voy a ningún lado, Gabriel.

No voy a ningún lado, Gabriel. De pronto esa corta frase despierta una sensación bastante parecida al vacío. Acabo de decir algo que describe mi situación catatónica actual. El forado de esa frase toma forma volumétrica. Grafica mis dos últimos años.

Noto en el tono de Gabriel su ebriedad. Siempre está alcoholizado. A veces envidio su efusivo estado de ánimo. No sé si es lo mismo que envidiar su estado etílico. Quizás sí. La música en su casa siempre borra cualquier vestigio de melancolía. La bachata reventando a toda fuerza es la vacuna contra la tristeza. La casa de Gabriel. Los colores chillones de las paredes, los muebles que no hacen juego con nada. Una fiesta continua de hombres y mujeres dominicanos bailando contagiados de algarabía y de piel canela.

La doctora polaca y el doctor surfer hablan entre sí. Sacan una tijera y ella corta con aspecto marcial mi zapatilla para liberar mi pie. Corta el calcetín transversalmente. Entonces me asusta lo que veo. Entonces me doy cuenta de la gravedad. Me asusto porque no me hecho la pedicure en más de un mes y me doy cuenta de la gravedad cuando no encuentro forma alguna en lo que recuerdo como mi pie. Estoy pálido. Pero no por mi pie. Sino por la impresión que deben causar mis uñas largas de gallinazo viejo a la enfermera angelical y dulce que ahora toma mi mano y me dice que me relaje. ¡Qué vergüenza!

Mi calcetín mojado por el sudor es tomado con unos guantes de látex por la polaca y depositado en un recipiente donde se lee “toxic waste”. Me parece una exageración. Ahí va mi calcetín, entre agujas de pacientes con Sida y hepatitis C. Veo que se acomodan para hacer el jalón y colocar el tobillo en su lugar. Me da ganas de alcanzarles un libro de anatomía básica. Es que son un par de críos que parecen estar discutiendo la clase de huesología básica. Sí, sí dije huesología.



Dime tu nombre le digo a la dulce enfermera, mientras aplica más anestesia por la vía que me han puesto en el brazo. Fue como un impulso previo a la despedida. Como si me hubieran desahuciado. No te va a pasar nada, me contesta. Fallo otra vez en conseguir su nombre. La anestesia no funciona, yo tampoco.



Jalan en dos tiempos y colocan los huesos en su lugar. Las cuatro manos de los médicos jóvenes me hacen pagar mis pecados en la tierra. Es un dolor desde adentro que para viajar a la superficie desgarra todas las capas de tejidos. Un hilo se conecta con el cerebro y regresa una desbordante ola retorcida y grotesca.



La enfermera mira mis ojos y siento sus manos ya no tan frías. No aprietan. Parecen una caricia. Eso quiero creer. No sé tu nombre, le digo con mi sonrisa chueca y según yo seductora. Ella sonríe, se levanta y se va.



El skater se va diciendo algo que no logro entender y la polaca se queda preparando el yeso. You’ll live, me dice tratando de humanizarse. Firma un papel y le dice a un técnico que me lleve a tomarme radiografías y una tomografía.



Me preguntan cuánto mido. 6’2, respondo. Traen dos muletas. Otra vez las muletas. Me preguntan si deberían mostrarme cómo usarlas. No, les replico con resignación. No es la primera vez que las uso y dudo mucho que sea la última.



Llega Gabriel tambaleando. Me conduce al carro. Subimos con dificultad. Avanzamos dos calles bordeadas de nieve y un patrullero prende sus sicodélicas luces detrás de nosotros. Lo sensato es detener el auto.

- ¡Coño!
- ‘ta mare.



Sólo faltan diez cuadras para llegar a mi departamento. Gabriel decidido acelera. Te van a joder, le digo. Para, no seas loco. Que se joda ese perro, me contesta. Pasan exactamente 10 segundos y dos patrulleros más están detrás de nosotros. Ahora sí me da ganas de sacar un papel y empezar a redactar mi testamento. Pienso si dolerá mucho morir baleado.



Llegamos a mi domicilio. Ahora son 5 patrulleros. Put your hands where I can see them! Grita un policía negro apuntando su pistola hacia Gabriel. Dos más hacen lo mismo en frente del auto y otro me apunta a mí.



Are you under the influence of any drug? me pregunta el policía que apunta su arma hacia mí. Yes, sir, respondo. Pain killers. Step away from the vehicle! me ordena abriendo la puerta sin dejar de apuntarme. Estoy sereno, cualquier movimiento en falso y termino con 42 balas en el cuerpo y en el yeso. Con una bastaría, pero los policías en este país tienen un tic nervioso en el gatillo.



Guarda su arma al ver mi pierna enyesada. Le explico lo ocurrido. Gabriel es esposado. Yo subo a duras penas las tres gradas. Entro a mi departamento. Está oscuro. El silencio me abraza, me tiro sobre la cama y tomo una de las botellas de agua que guardo cerca de mi cabecera. Tomo otra. Tengo sed. Una más. Siento dolor y tomo el Vicodin que me dieron como si fuera tic tac.



Duermo 3 horas y las ganas de orinar son irritantes. No tengo los cojones para llegar hasta el baño. Entonces quejándome como plañidera me semi arrodillo en la cama, tomo uno de los envases vacios de plástico y lo lleno. Apuntando con calma. Tomo otro, lo lleno también. Algunas gotitas calientes me mojan la mano. No es fácil.



Satisfecho me tiro a la cama otra vez. Siento un dolor punzante y latente. Son las 4:47 de la madrugada. Llega un mensaje de texto multimedia. Es la foto de mi pie, más abajo dice, me llamo Evelyn, espero que te mejores pronto.



La mañana es luminosa. Llamo a Gabriel y me dice que todo está bien. Gracias, Gabriel. Lleno otra botella vacía con más destreza. Mis botellitas y yo vemos televisión. Así es. La libertad tiene un precio. Botellitas de pipí.

69 comentarios:

verdemundo dijo...

Mañana me pondré al día en todos los blogs que he dejado de leer en estos 15 días, porque los extraño. Gracias Luly y Kike por animarme a seguir.
Un abrazo a todos.

(a Aquiles Martín no)

chica diez dijo...

no entiendo porque no enderezaron el pie antes? eeew con la foto y los vasitos de pis. bienvenido de regreso.

Enrique Palacios dijo...

Habla Verdemundo, agregue tu blog a mi entrada Siguiendo Seguidores :)

Un abrazo tio

pecas dijo...

:o que chacal :s joder! no quisiera q me pasase algo así, se ve bien doloroso aunq tmb me has hecho reír :p

oye q hiciste con las botellitas de pipí? no creo q hayan fermentado tan rápido... si fue así adviertele a Gabriel jajaj

tarde la continuación pero valió la pena

xau

Luly dijo...

Leo denada, no te podría decir que
se lo que sentiste por que yo de una torsedura en el pie no he pasado y más encima fue por hacerme la super chica salte de un juego como de 2.5mts de altura y caí mal eso fue todo(tenía 10 años) o sea hace mucho tiempo. Pero que bueno que no perdiste tú sentido del humor a pesar de él accidente.

besos.

Anónimo dijo...

curioso relato

Anónimo dijo...

Me alegro ver que estás escribiendo. Como te dije en la carta, hay momentos de sequía creativa que hay que enfrentar sin envolturas.

Pedro C.

miralunas dijo...

ma has hecho reir y sentirme culpable por tu dolor, verdelindo!
vicodin, mira qué! como el Doctor Hause!!! que te mejores rapidìsimo! y estemmm.... ya le has llamado a evelyn manos tibias?abrazo!

Anónimo dijo...

por fin de vuelta.. a leer.
Rocio

VeRoNiKa ♫ VeCa ♪ LiFe dijo...

La policia estadounidence si que es recontra exagerada... 5 policias para una sola persona... Suele pasar aqui en Miami se aparecen en las noches de antro en la playa. Y sabemos que son la LEY!! en fin ... espero que te sientas mejor despues de tu odisea (nunca pense ser tan sencible a una foto peroooo puaggg jajaja... se me llenaron los ojitos de lagrimas de la sensacion de dolor) Buena suerte con eso... y con la picazon del yeso. Un abrazote y no sabes como me a dado tremendas sonrisotas la lectura. Un saludote

verdemundo dijo...

Iziar, me lo enderazaron mal.

Ki, ya lo vi.. chévere.

Pequitas, lo importante es que te haya hecho reir. Gabriel tomaría cualquier cosa con alcohol...

Luly, gracias luly, siempre es chévere verte por acá.

Anónimo, curioso comentario.

Pedro C., con tetrapak.

Miralunas, no exageran con la dependencia del vicodin. Sí hablamos con Evelyn. Parece que le caigo bien (hasta que se entere de este blog)

Rocío, adelante.

Verónica, sí la verdad, es una exageración con los gringos policías. El yeso no lo aguanté ni 10 días. Soy mal paciente.

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holaaa de nuevo la historia de tu lecion es lokasa jajaja k alucinate oe sabes sigue con blogs son chevere e interesantes tienes una poyo mas por ciaca jaja chevere leo

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lucia, gracias por el apoyo, espero seguir chévere...

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three - Ask for benefit. When you are usually at long last in the local mall, one particular with the means to fulfill women is by asking them for help out. Ladies be aware that men have no approach what they are really carrying out when they are shopping, so asking for assistance won't seem this kind of a ridiculous approach. Request allow in picking out a jacket for oneself one example is. Executing so let's the woman know that you are single. If she agrees to aid you, ask her other queries as you grab different jackets to look at on.

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